Hello world,
So as some of you might have noticed I have been absent from this blog for over a month, and despite what people may think I have a very good (or at least in my opinion) reason for it. So a little over a month ago I got the news that my granddad had passed away. Losing a loved one is always tough (even those who don't have a good relationship with said family member). As was the case for me, I am one of the few lucky people whose grandparents where all still alive, until recently that is. I have never been very close with my dad's parents and generally only saw them 2 or 3 times a year when we still lived in the Netherlands. When we moved to Spain, three times a year changed to once in 6 years, which is a very long time to go without seeing family. The last time I saw my granddad was almost 2 years ago, and the worst thing is I didn't really miss them that much. As we where never really close not seeing them was an easy thing to deal with for me. This didn't mean however that losing him didn't hurt me or the family around me. The day we heard the news I was meant to go to work and hang out with friends later on, that however quickly changed to packing and getting on the first plain to Germany (no planes to the Netherlands on that day). My sister was away on holiday when it happened so apart from comforting my dad I had to lie to my sister and pretend everything was okay, which was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. Being in the Netherlands with just my dad and my grandmother was a strange thing, and it opened my eyes to a lot of things that had gone on in my family that I didn't even know about. My grandmother has always been a bit cold and detached, not really one for showing emotions, when I was younger I didn't really notice it much but as I got older I noticed she was very different to other grandmothers and sometimes resented her for not being nicer to us. I know realize these emotions where stupid and that she did care for me and my sister but she just has trouble expressing said feelings. One of the "good" things that came out of my granddad passing away was that I got to see my aunt and uncle again. They live in Greece and I hadn't seen my aunt in about 9 years and my uncle in 14 years, which is very strange as I was 6 the last year I saw him so I didn't really know him anymore. We used these days together to bond bit and are know planning on visiting them in Greece hopefully sometime next summer.
As my granddad was the first close family member that I lost, I got my first experience of what goes in to arranging a funeral and all the other things that need to be done, which, let me tell you, is a LOT! My granddad was a very popular and loved men in the town he lived in, he did a lot for the community and worked for a lot of sport clubs, such as the local football (soccer) club that he practically prevented from turning bankrupt and having to close. He was also an avid ice skater and would have loved to compete in the "elfstedentocht" which is a 200 km ice skating course through 11 cities in the north of the Netherlands all on natural ice. It has to be very cold to be able to do the course which is why you never know when the next one will be (the last one was in 1997). he never got to compete because in 1963 his wife (my grandma) forbade him from going, which ended up being a good thing because the weather was terrible, so bad they even made a film called "the hell of '63. After that he was part of the organization managing a part of the course meaning he wasn't allowed to compete, he was responsible for a bit of ice that he had to check every day to see if the ice was thick enough etc. The response and support we got from all the people in the village was astounding, from a phone call or a card to a message on a website or in the newspaper, it was more then we expected. the first few days we didn't get to many messages but when the announcement we put in the newspaper was published tons of cards arrived, sometimes even 20 or 30 at once, which is a surreal experience to be fairly honest. As I had never really been through something like this I wasn't sure how to act or react but in the end I did what my granddad would have wanted, I kept going and remembered all the good memories I had with him. Because my granddad was one of the happiest people in the world and he, just as anybody else that loves you, would want me to continue loving life and making new even better memories.
I know I'm rambling but I really needed to explain why I had been absent and because I wanted this blog to be more personal I thought I should just explain it indent. it has been hard to write/talk about this which is why it took me so long to actually write it all down and upload it. I probably wrote and rewrote this post about 10 times and was never happy with it, but I think this is acceptable. If you don't like these kind of posts I apologize and I promise the next few will be much happier and easier to read and write. As it is summer here know and I have finished my exams I want to try and upload once every two weeks. I will probably do some film/ book reviews and talks some more about places I have visited. I will talk about some more serious stuff that I think should be discussed and continue talking about my experiences with moving to another country.
But for now, this is it for today. I hope this cleared things up and maybe even helped someone who is dealing with personal stuff.
have a great day/night wherever you are and I will write very very soon.
xx Simone
